Hello good people. I apologize for not writing last month, but there were so many thoughts running through my mind; I simply could not focus on a topic. Even still this month, there are some reoccurring thoughts lingering from last month, I’m not sure of a topic, but I am simply going to piece something together here. My spirit has been heavy with thoughts of obedience, discipline, finishing the things I start, simply being accountable and responsible for the things that occur in my life, even the lives of my children.
I realize now, more than ever, that I will never yield the results that I want if I can’t focus long enough to finish the things that I have started. I’ve shared this with my 13 year old as well, as she is struggling with maintaining good grades. I have found that the past few years I have become lazy, in every sense of the word. I don’t want to push myself; I simply expect things to happen for me magically. But I have been reminded all too well that faith without works is dead.
It’s been hard to admit that I have become lazy, that my desire to walk into my full potential does not match my will to do so. So I’ve been asking myself, “How bad do you want it”? I know that I have been given a voice and I finally recognize that I have a talent. These things I didn’t always know. I also recognize that my talents and the many things that I have endured and overcome are not simply for my benefit.
I’ve been wondering what happen to the girl inside of me that had all these dreams and would do anything to position herself for the best. I know she still resides in me, I know that I am that girl, that woman. So what am I going to do? A dear friend reminded me last year of the importance of writing a plan, doesn’t have to be five written pages or anything elaborate, but simply something you have written down and something to follow, to hold yourself accountable, and it works! The past few months I haven’t written anything down; I haven’t pushed myself to do some of the things that I wanted to have done by this month. Well, there is no more waiting, planning and writing is what I’m doing, writing the vision and making it plain.
Michael Jordon didn’t become Michael Jordan because he wished it to be, but he practiced, he WORKED and perfected his skill, and it didn’t happen for him overnight. Talk is cheap…and I ask, am I a doer, are you a doer? Do you want it? As Bill Cosby stated before “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it”. Great responsibility comes when you are walking, living, breathing, operating on and within PURPOSE. Maybe I have been afraid of what will occur in my life once I have my BA, then my MA, maybe I have been afraid of my book being published and becoming nationally recognized and subsequent books, especially children’s books, to follow. Maybe I am afraid of the opportunities that will arise out of my volunteer efforts with the women that are going through what I survived.
You know, most of us grew up in an era of, do as I say, not what I do, but we should actually be the examples to our children. I know I have not been the best example to my 13 year old. My work ethic has not been what it should be, and I have to show her that you can do and be anything you want. But I have to show her how this principle is manifesting in my own life.
So, my challenge is becoming disciplined enough and obedient enough to yield the results that I want, spiritually, financially, and educationally, showing my daughter’s a living example of this.
Peace, blessings, affectionately yours,
Shamina
He Walks With Me
I know He walks with me…has been with me since my conception...here for all eternityThe devil knows this, which is why he tries to trick me, get me to believe some of my insanity
I know he only comes to still, kill and destroy, but my Father has shown me what He has in store for me
My world has become the thoughts inside my head, which I have not fully protected and the devil has tried to come and infect it with lies and sins from my past
I know He walks with me, he’s grace and mercy evident with every picture I see, every moment that He has kept and saved me
There are times when my soul cries and He has been the only to console me
My days will be spent in prosperity and my years in pleasure, as long as I obey and serve Him
I know He walks with me, although there may be times I forget, I know He never has
The blessings on my life, so many I can’t count…I know I can be obedient to His word, and I know what my life is like when I doubt
He shows His face to me continuously, even during the times when I didn’t want to see
I know He walks with me and will continuously keep me, no matter the space I sometimes find me
He walks with me
