How Successful Are You

How do you measure success? I feel, at many times, that I am not successful. But how do I measure my success? Is it by the amount of money I have in my bank account, or is by counting my failures, or is it knowing that I am not where I was 10 years ago. Do I measure it by allowing that thought that has been gnawing at my spirit that, I haven't attained that which I thought I would have by now, drive me not to act? That's my mind speaking against my inner self.

I have learned recently, that my motivation and my drive to be successful has taken a back seat. Seems as if I am simply going through the motions. I have recognized this because over the past 6 years, I have not been a finisher. I start and stop school, but I have not finished... I start jobs, but have no longevity, I have started an anthology of poetry that still isn't complete. I've noticed the closer I get to attaining my innermost desires and dreams, opposition hits the hardest. I know that there is a strength in me that knows that I can do all things...but I must "DO".

I say all this to say, that no matter what it looks like, no matter the number of failures, I am going to start one project at a time and finish it, see it through till the end. Failure is a part of success, but we must be careful with our thoughts. When it looks as if you can't, tell the opposition you will. It's more than having an "I can" attitude. You must have an "I will" mentality, no matter what the adversity may be. Knowing that the closer you get to fulfilling your purpose, the more opposition will be thrown your way. So prepare your mind for the fight, because it's never a a physical thing, simply a mind thing.

I am in active pursuit to finish the things that I have started, finding peace and fulfilment in those things. Is not about money, although I want an abundance of it. It's not about fame or recognition. It's a bout a desire to share, support and help others that may be where I was, and how to overcome and consistently and constantly reinvent yourself through dedication and focus.

So today, I am going to do and continue to surround myself with individuals that 'do'!!! And I pose the question to you to ponder, how successful are you?
Poem for today:

Standing Still

Everything is passing me by. The excitement of spring, which I love so dearly, the eventfulness of the summer and its sun, which I bask in, the winds of fall leaning into winter.
It’s been passing me by for the past two years and I fear that it will go on forever.
You know…standing still. Me standing still….
I love the summer blue skies and the beautiful butterflies,
The fall and winter midnight blue skies, some nights so clear you can see the ocean.
But it’s morning before I can sit on my porch and revel in these sites
The winter winds, brisk and cold,
Fresh air I want to stand and breathe it all in to see if any snow is coming.
But I can’t. I am standing still.
While all of life and its wonders are passing me by.
While time is ticking and Monday becomes Sunday after Sunday becomes Monday for me, because …I am standing still.
I can’t stand still too much longer, because something or someone is going to knock me down…
If I am still standing still.

Lovingly,
Shamina

Thoughts?: Self Reflection

Thoughts?: Self Reflection: "The world around us is constantly changing, which means, we as individuals are always changing and evolving. I have thought about the past 1..."

Self Reflection

The world around us is constantly changing, which means, we as individuals are always changing and evolving. I have thought about the past 10 years of my life and I see some growth, and most definitely some stagnation. It's shocking to admit, but, I have allowed relationships to dictate my emotional and spiritual well being for quite some time. I have allowed unhealthy relationships, fear, and others realities to become my own. Not knowing who I was, not owning the greatness that God placed in me, allowing myself to have low self-esteem.

On yesterday, the death of the teens in Shreveport, Louisiana provoked thought. Statistics states that Black Americans have a fear of water, most perceive swimming as something only White Americans do, or because swim lessons are too expensive for some black families, they choose not to receive swim lesson. These things made me wonder again, what I am doing for my community.

I have been a poet since age 11. Didn't recognize it at first. After age 18 I didn't write my first poem again until about age 26/27. I now know that I am a poet, that I have a word for women, youth and my peers. It has been placed on my spirit to share my many war scars with women, and help rebuild inner city communities by providing a place where children, women and families can participate in a plethora of activities and have thriving community centers in their neighborhoods.

I say all this to say, that in my self reflection, I am challenging myself to do more. To actually do! To write, to volunteer, to share my story, my craft and my time in hopes to create a change in the mind set and culture of some of our people. I know who I am, where I am going, setting a better example for my biological children.

Today, I leave you with this poem:

I Wish They Were All My Babies

Look at all those babies, being raised and not raised by babies.
Two pulling at her legs and one is in her belly and I don’t see a daddy anywhere around.
Lil boy with a gold nugget in his ear and braids going all through his head, lil wife beater and shit.
I don’t understand this entire cycle we’re in. As a people, what do we do? I didn’t boo Bill Cosby, what about you?

Pants sagging off their asses, and all this junk hanging round their neck and they have the audacity to walk cross my block smoking a blunt. Go in front of your house and do that mess!

Yeah, I yelled at them, but then I became fearful, thought to myself, these young boys could be packin.

Lil grown ass girls, thinking they know more than me. I try to talk to em you know. I see them outside. Shirt too tight, skirt way too short. Hell, her breast are bigger than mine. Lil sis, be careful, what they don’t see they surely can’t miss, and he most definitely wouldn’t have you out here trying to resist him. Your putting it all out there for him is what he’s thinking. You’re my young sisters. I’m trying to help you become aware, baby, that this life ain’t gravy. Respect yourself sisters.

But, they have their noses up in the air at me. They don’t care what I’m trying to say, because their momma’s are probably the same way, doin the same thing.

I would like to gather all my young brothers and sisters to let them know that the images they consistently see are not really those of you and me. Come see me every Wednesday and I will show you and tell you what it really means to be young and free. I will liberate your mind and show you a world of non-conformity.

I was a baby you see, a lil young sister myself, still in some ways that I can see. Plus I have a baby who watches me, and I’m not married you see.

Come my babies and learn with me. Know that your are bright, intelligent and the leaders of our upcoming generation, and with your ambition and skills directed in the right way, you can become more than anyone ever thought you could be and you will realize that death and prison are not options you see!

Come my babies and learn with me.

written by Shamina N. Williams
© 7/20/2004