Get On With It

It's amazing what can manifest when people are perfectly honest with themselves.  When one can truly and honestly face their hurts, failures, disappointments, fears and most of all, their anger.  We all get angry, have been unforgiving, and we have all held on to past hurts for far too long. It appears that after listening to many friends this past month, I hear and sense restoration in all of their voices and spirits.  I sense a feeling of acceptance with certain things that have plagued them, including myself.

Anger is very powerful and can be very destructive.  We all try to act as if we are cooler than a fan, nothing gets us angry, we don't hold grudges, etc., but I beg to differ. Here, I thought I was past my anger concerning a certain situation.  But I quickly realized, as I allowed acceptance to FINALLY take place and bitterness to be erased,...this is when I started to actually move past my anger, allowing things to unfold as they should have long ago.  Putting aside ego, pride and differences.

For me, I like to think, in every situation, that I always make the right decisions for me and my family, quality decisions.  I like to think that at every turn, my actions are warranted and justified.  Well, I also hate to admit when I am wrong or when I've made poor decisions. But, in doing so, I again, have learned so much more about me, and what it really means to forgive and let go, and be free.  So I found myself letting go of pride and sorrow and admitting that I was wrong for a thing or two, actually apologizing and saying that I was truly sorry for my actions.  Its definitely true, when you whole heartedly forgive and let go of whatever negative feelings you may be holding onto, you truly and honestly free yourself and open doors that you never imagined could be re-opened.

So, today, I beg you to  truly forgive someone who you haven't, let go and get on with it!!! Living that is (SMILE).

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

DEEP

Deep inside me there are many things I keep, many things that have seeped, like the disgusting juices piled up and compressed of the neighborhood trash, into loves of mine. Deep in the wholeness of my incompleteness, there resides an honesty that I’m afraid of, memories that terrify and lose me completely. Deep within is a love that springs forth with utterances of peace, serenity, confidence and joy…healing. Deep are the bruises, scars, soul ties that still leave scorn. Deep is my anger for those who lack patience and  understanding, searching for answers to that which may be unexplainable, memories that are not trusting, loving or with reason nor clarity. Deep is a pride, a mother, a third generation of strength, education and dreams on high. Deep is my passion to live out my full potential that is as wide as all of the world’s oceans and runs as long as the Nile. Deep is my love, my deepness I wanna share with you... in time, so hold on, move slow and we will stay afloat and not be lost or consumed by my deep…thoughts.

Learning Lessons

I've heard some where before, 'You will keep receiving the same lesson until you have learned the lesson'. Not certain if it was in church, whether I interpreted this saying from scripture, or was told by a friend or elder, but, its beginning to make since to me now.

During the past few years I have learned many lessons, I have evolved and involved myself more with my personal development and growth, not anyone else. But I still haven't learned how to fully listen to my inner voice. I still haven't learned how to recognize, or maybe I should say, heed the red flags. So, with that being said, I had to re-learn a lesson, or should I say, I am learning another lesson concerning the same issue that showed up previously the past few years.

Lessons are needed for many reasons. Lessons build character; strengthen your faith and your self esteem, lessons, to put it simply, help you grow as a person. It’s definitely a freeing feeling when you’re open and honest with yourself and others. When you share your concerns, especially when it’s done with calmness, peace, love and joy in your heart. I think that too many of us don't tell others how we feel, and it hinders our growth. We make some attempt at masking and ignoring our feelings, just for them to re-surface anyway, so why not get it out. I, know, it sounds simple right.

We compromise to a fault, I know I have. I have compromised my beliefs at times, my heart, my happiness, and my morals. For the sake of any good relationship, compromise is a healthy mechanism of change and growth. But not when you compromise to a fault. I'll be the first to admit my issues, especially now at 34 I recognize where I need improvement, where I need to bend a little more and what my issues are when it comes to sharing my world with another. The areas I refuse to compromise in are the areas of respect and common courtesy, as I see them and how I define them in my life, which may be very different from your definition.

Today, I ask you to heed the red flags that are present in your world, listen to your inner voice and become open and honest with yourself. It’s a liberating feeling. So smile and accept your lesson today and don't have any guilt or second thoughts about a tough decision that may need to be made out of your lesson learned. Change what needs to be change and keep evolving. We must stop depending on our "feelings", stop being ruled by our condition, our state of mind and exhibit that will and determination that we are all born with.

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

Breathe LoveIt’s amazing something so peaceful and surreal can walk into your life so unexpectedly and you flow with it like a crisp Spring Breeze

It’s amazing how you have no worries or fears and everything around you and within you simply tells you to breathe

It was not like a whirl wind, there was no confusion

I was brought to shore I’m sure

It wasn’t all physical, it wasn’t sexual at all

It was so spiritual and mental my ancestors begin to sing inside of me

B-R-E-A-T-H-E L-O-V-E

Copyright © Shamina Nicole Williams, 2011

I Am Woman

I have been thinking about my daughter's lately and the woman's role in our society. My 13 year old is in love with music, this new generation music. What scares me is how now, more than ever, women are portrayed as sex objects. No new revelation to the world, it's been this way for some time now. But now, there is such a lack of respect for women, especially the lack of men respecting women. I look at the clothes the young girls wear, I listen to the rap lyrics, I watch the videos, and I see little respect for our women and children. Hell, I even sing along to a lot of the lyrics, but I'm grown. I know who I am, what I use to be, I know how I deserve to be treated and I am the example for my daughter's. But, I am not Nicki Manage, Lil Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross or Chris Brown and it is an every day struggle between me and the media, to portray what the norms are in our society to my daughter's.

What's even more alarming is that these young girls grow-up to be young women. Confused, manipulated, taken advantage of, and in many ways abused. Abused because they have adapted to the norms of what society portrays as norms. That young girls are fresh, flirty, bi-sexual, sex crazed animals. Not daughter's, sister's, mother's, educated loved filled individuals.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a woman, I am a sexual being and I have been accused of being a flirt at some point or another. In my days of adolescence, even young adult hood, I have probably been many different things to different people, but my family raised me with certain morals, standards, and taught me to have self respect. It was the streets that taught me otherwise, so called friends that taught me what no respect looked like. I've said it plenty times before, I am not perfect, no angel by far, but I am not the young girl I use to be, but I am a full grown loving woman, here and transparent, trying to be the best mother I can be for my girls.

I urge you to talk to your daughter's, son's, mentee's about what respect looks like, and what reality is versus what the media portrays as reality. Don't give up or in to what you see, continue to change the world. Do not allow the media to continue to dictate what our youth and young adults look like, especiall our young women.

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

I am not a girl!!

I am not your fuck toy.

I am not your mistress.

I am not your phat thighs, long legged booby.

I am not the love of your life; I am not your WIFE!

I am not your beck and call girl; I am not your high heels with a thong girl.

I am not your wettest pussy girl,

Deepest pussy girl,

Pretty smelling pussy girl,

Your pussy taste good girl.

I am not the; What you need girl?

Take this one thousand dollars and pay some of your bills girl.

I am not your living secrets keep this quiet girl.

I am not your wait on me girl.

Your take out of town trick girl.

I am not the: I love how you smell, suck, and fuck girl, but you can’t be my girl girl, but my girl on the side girl.

I am not the girl that becomes complacent or comfortable.

I am not the girl with no desire.

I am not the girl who depends on another.

I am not the girl who enjoys living in secret.

I am not the girl who will act as if some of this shit don’t exist.

I am not the girl you will manipulate.

I am not the girl you will take advantage of, the girl you think you can change my views and opinions to fit your own girl.

I am not the girl who will get high all her life and let life and time pass her by.

I am not the girl who thinks wealth and riches is what life is all about.

I am definitely not a girl.