Learning Lessons

I've heard some where before, 'You will keep receiving the same lesson until you have learned the lesson'. Not certain if it was in church, whether I interpreted this saying from scripture, or was told by a friend or elder, but, its beginning to make since to me now.

During the past few years I have learned many lessons, I have evolved and involved myself more with my personal development and growth, not anyone else. But I still haven't learned how to fully listen to my inner voice. I still haven't learned how to recognize, or maybe I should say, heed the red flags. So, with that being said, I had to re-learn a lesson, or should I say, I am learning another lesson concerning the same issue that showed up previously the past few years.

Lessons are needed for many reasons. Lessons build character; strengthen your faith and your self esteem, lessons, to put it simply, help you grow as a person. It’s definitely a freeing feeling when you’re open and honest with yourself and others. When you share your concerns, especially when it’s done with calmness, peace, love and joy in your heart. I think that too many of us don't tell others how we feel, and it hinders our growth. We make some attempt at masking and ignoring our feelings, just for them to re-surface anyway, so why not get it out. I, know, it sounds simple right.

We compromise to a fault, I know I have. I have compromised my beliefs at times, my heart, my happiness, and my morals. For the sake of any good relationship, compromise is a healthy mechanism of change and growth. But not when you compromise to a fault. I'll be the first to admit my issues, especially now at 34 I recognize where I need improvement, where I need to bend a little more and what my issues are when it comes to sharing my world with another. The areas I refuse to compromise in are the areas of respect and common courtesy, as I see them and how I define them in my life, which may be very different from your definition.

Today, I ask you to heed the red flags that are present in your world, listen to your inner voice and become open and honest with yourself. It’s a liberating feeling. So smile and accept your lesson today and don't have any guilt or second thoughts about a tough decision that may need to be made out of your lesson learned. Change what needs to be change and keep evolving. We must stop depending on our "feelings", stop being ruled by our condition, our state of mind and exhibit that will and determination that we are all born with.

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

Breathe LoveIt’s amazing something so peaceful and surreal can walk into your life so unexpectedly and you flow with it like a crisp Spring Breeze

It’s amazing how you have no worries or fears and everything around you and within you simply tells you to breathe

It was not like a whirl wind, there was no confusion

I was brought to shore I’m sure

It wasn’t all physical, it wasn’t sexual at all

It was so spiritual and mental my ancestors begin to sing inside of me

B-R-E-A-T-H-E L-O-V-E

Copyright © Shamina Nicole Williams, 2011

I Am Woman

I have been thinking about my daughter's lately and the woman's role in our society. My 13 year old is in love with music, this new generation music. What scares me is how now, more than ever, women are portrayed as sex objects. No new revelation to the world, it's been this way for some time now. But now, there is such a lack of respect for women, especially the lack of men respecting women. I look at the clothes the young girls wear, I listen to the rap lyrics, I watch the videos, and I see little respect for our women and children. Hell, I even sing along to a lot of the lyrics, but I'm grown. I know who I am, what I use to be, I know how I deserve to be treated and I am the example for my daughter's. But, I am not Nicki Manage, Lil Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross or Chris Brown and it is an every day struggle between me and the media, to portray what the norms are in our society to my daughter's.

What's even more alarming is that these young girls grow-up to be young women. Confused, manipulated, taken advantage of, and in many ways abused. Abused because they have adapted to the norms of what society portrays as norms. That young girls are fresh, flirty, bi-sexual, sex crazed animals. Not daughter's, sister's, mother's, educated loved filled individuals.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a woman, I am a sexual being and I have been accused of being a flirt at some point or another. In my days of adolescence, even young adult hood, I have probably been many different things to different people, but my family raised me with certain morals, standards, and taught me to have self respect. It was the streets that taught me otherwise, so called friends that taught me what no respect looked like. I've said it plenty times before, I am not perfect, no angel by far, but I am not the young girl I use to be, but I am a full grown loving woman, here and transparent, trying to be the best mother I can be for my girls.

I urge you to talk to your daughter's, son's, mentee's about what respect looks like, and what reality is versus what the media portrays as reality. Don't give up or in to what you see, continue to change the world. Do not allow the media to continue to dictate what our youth and young adults look like, especiall our young women.

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

I am not a girl!!

I am not your fuck toy.

I am not your mistress.

I am not your phat thighs, long legged booby.

I am not the love of your life; I am not your WIFE!

I am not your beck and call girl; I am not your high heels with a thong girl.

I am not your wettest pussy girl,

Deepest pussy girl,

Pretty smelling pussy girl,

Your pussy taste good girl.

I am not the; What you need girl?

Take this one thousand dollars and pay some of your bills girl.

I am not your living secrets keep this quiet girl.

I am not your wait on me girl.

Your take out of town trick girl.

I am not the: I love how you smell, suck, and fuck girl, but you can’t be my girl girl, but my girl on the side girl.

I am not the girl that becomes complacent or comfortable.

I am not the girl with no desire.

I am not the girl who depends on another.

I am not the girl who enjoys living in secret.

I am not the girl who will act as if some of this shit don’t exist.

I am not the girl you will manipulate.

I am not the girl you will take advantage of, the girl you think you can change my views and opinions to fit your own girl.

I am not the girl who will get high all her life and let life and time pass her by.

I am not the girl who thinks wealth and riches is what life is all about.

I am definitely not a girl.

Eliminating Confusion

Well, we are well into the new year, and I am behind in my posts. My life has been experiencing a lot of change since the beginning of the new year, and the changes are all great and very rewarding. I found myself dealing with tons of confusion. Confusion from many different sources, even me as the source as some of it. I quickly recognized it and begin to get rid of it.

You know, all too often we accept anything from people we allow in our lives, people we allow to be apart of our energies, and we have to know when situations become unhealthy for us. That's not always easy, but I think we are built and wired with a certain intuition that provides us with warning signs.

I believe that confusion leads to stress, second guessing ourselves, fear, doubt and many other symptoms that become unhealthy. We have to know when to throw in the towel, when a situation drains and pulls your energy to depletion, when individuals become selfish, uncompromising, controlling, or simply down right disrespectful. I have recently experienced all of those things until I woke up and said, I deserve more than this.

What was weird though, is that I actually began to function and operate within the confusion as if it was normal. As if there was something I had done to attract it and foster it, but it was the total opposite. Things, people, environments, the stress levels of others' change often and change quickly at times, and sometimes, if your not careful, you can allow it to affect you and become apart of who you are, and not for the betterment of yourself, nor those around you.

I have two little girls at home, one 13 and one 19 month old, and I don't want to raise them around confusion, chaos, disrespect, nor situations that lack love, compromise and understanding.

I never want to wake up again, shutting myself off from the world, concentrating on all the confusing thoughts in my head, when all I had to do was eliminate that which was causing me confusion, stress and unhappiness. You have to live in order to be considered living and there is no living if your living in a state of confusion. Wake up happy and thankful, and give to someone daily. You never know what a smile, a nod hello, or a kind word can do for a person, and being focused totally on you and yours and some of the situations you got going on, you never think twice about someone else. You never stop to look up at the sky and marvel at the peace and serenity that rests above which also resides within your being.

So today, I ask you to look at your life and look at the areas that cause you stress and strife, and those that are out of you control, don't focus on them, and those that are within your control, eradicate them and be empowered that you are taking back control of your life, situations, and removing those individuals that give you negative energy while depleting you of your good energy.

Peace and blessings,
Shamina

I Wanna Be Free

I wanna be free
Free to dwell in the midst of me
Free to love in such a harsh society
Free to be in the presence of the bitter sweet

I wanna be free
Free to love in the midst of me
Free to be in a place and space where He resides
Free to allow my pain to subside

I wanna be free
Free to experience an oneness and peace with my soul
Free to be bold, courageous and solid gold
Free to allow my emotions to unfold

I wanna be free
Free to experience a first with another
Free to behold and uphold a certain quality and standard
Free to be unselfish and uncompromising

I wanna be free
I simply wanna be free to experience me