There Is No Such Thing as the Boogie Man

How are you getting along thus far in this wonderful New Year?  I think I am fairing…trying to stick to the goals I created for myself, consistency is key, that’s a fact! So, when I found that in the past few weeks I have not been consistent, I had to ask myself why.  Some folks believe that there are only two emotions we operate from and they are either love, or fear. Which do you find yourself operating from?

I am noticing that I live in love but often operate out of fear. Fear of failure is what stands out most of all. See, I feel like if I procrastinate long enough, I won’t have to worry about my outcomes. It’s really self-sabotage, and why, because of fear. But if I live in love, don’t I love myself enough to move beyond my fears? This is my biggest challenge and my biggest opposition is myself.

I recently read something in ‘Acts of Faith’ written by Iyanla Vanzant and she stated, “Your chief adversary comes to teach you a lesson. Your most difficult challenge strengthens your survival skills. Your greatest fear deepens your faith .Your weakest ability beckons you to grow.” These sentences rang loudly in my ear, stirred my soul to be quite frank. As a child, there was a time I was afraid of the Boogie Man, but to be honest, I never met him. What often awakened me or kept me from doing things that I was afraid of was most of all, my own consciousness and perceptiveness about certain things, especially darkness. I quickly realized that once a little light was shed, there was no longer darkness, and once I ventured out to doing something I was afraid to do, I quickly realized it was a breeze to accomplish. The only thing that stood in my way was me.

I believe I have been afraid of submitting my book and my work in general, fearing rejection, so I have missed several submission deadlines, sadly. There was an article deadline I needed to meet by the 14^th, and as you can guess, I missed it, but submitted it last night. Not certain if it will be accepted, but it’s time to truly do, to practice what I so often preach and to submit away to see my  first work in print. So here’s to putting the Boogie Man to bed, embracing my fears and not only living, but operating in love, allowing fear to further activate this gift that God has given me, to write and share with you.

Peace and blessings,
Shamina

MY PEN

I thought I would never fully understand how you ended up in my hand

Often stuck inside my brain, never knew my thoughts would transcend to blue black ink

Pages just blank and bare until I put you against my finger tips

Often so long that you left that weird looking dent

 I thought I would never fully understand how you ended up in my hand

Sometimes you would go empty on me and I felt like my thoughts would then evaporate like quicksand

Balled point, fined tipped, felt tip with a grip, who would have thought you were going to be my conduit

Transforming my mental universe into a sea of reading works

I thought I would never understand how you ended up in my hand

My pen, my friend, my never ending stickup man

Here Comes Another One

As we prepare to bring 2012 to a close, I reflect on what a wonderful year this has been for me. Yes, I’ve encountered some tests, but I am still here, living, kicking and loving like never before, and who I loved the most this year was definitely me and my babies. 2012 Was definitely a year of firsts for me. I’ve done things that I had been afraid to attempt in the past, and although everything didn’t work out the way I expected, it worked out all the same. I have learned so much more about the woman that I am and finally learning to trust the process and progression of the development of the woman that I’ve not yet become. I put me, my wants, desires and needs to the forefront of my life and I settled for nothing in 2012.

I’ve learned that there are always issues that arise in our lives, but every issue doesn’t involve lack, struggle or a battle to be fought and won. Some things you simply must bask in the lesson, find peace and let go. Folks will always have an opinion of you, some may even believe they know you a lot better then you know yourself, which is cool, folks are entitled to their opinions. But I have held strong to knowing who I am, my hang-ups, faults, my issues, as we all have them, and I’ve embraced them. I was no victim to any circumstance in 2012 and I have been completely liberated from guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.

This year I landed a new position which I love, working with some great colleagues, full of knowledge, I have finished my first book, awaiting its publication and I have several irons in the fire. Yes, I have much more to work on, but I am here, my children are healthy and I am secure, working towards the dreams that enter my consciousness, asking no one for anything, but tapping into the power that lives in me to will my innermost desires into fruition. Things can only become bigger and brighter in the New Year and I am concentrating on all the good in my life!!!

Happy New Year everyone! Wishing you nothing but peace, joy and many blessings for 2013.

With love and light,
Shamina

More of me…

I am love, I am light, I am blessed, I am smiles, I am butterfly kisses, I am deep, I am sensual, I am a lady, I am hood, I am intelligent…

I am so much more than I give myself credit for!

I am beautiful, inside and out, I am territorial, I protect my den, I am laughter, I am hurt and pain, I am confident, I am a conqueror, I am a queen, I am long legs, fat thighs with pretty lips and a beautiful smile...

I am anger, I am attitude, I am spoiled, I am emotional, I am funny acting, I am standoffish, I am. Simply, I am a lot of things...

Gun Play

When I was 15 years old and in the 10^th grade, just a few months shy of turning 16, I remember an incident where a loaded gun went off inside of a vehicle that was sitting just out front of my home. I was in the vehicle, along with two male friends at the time. I never knew whose gun it was, nor why it was loaded and in the vehicle. These fellas were 17 and 18 at the time. I recall the music blasting so loud that we barely heard the thing go off and it went off just beside my legs.  I could have been shot. I will never forget that moment, or the many others I saw as a child growing up in an inner city. Seems like gun violence was a part of the territory, a norm, heck, this is why when I attended high school, 1991-1995, metal detectors were a must. I didn’t realize there was something seriously wrong with that picture.

My father owned a gun while I was coming up, two actually, a revolver and a 22 and he still has the 22. My father would often bring the gun out and shoot it from the porch on New Year’s Eve, as my mother and siblings watched, this was a tradition. Running from parties, athletic events, corner stores and more was a way of life for most of us, a norm that was far beyond normal. Our society has been plagued by gun violence since the 1980s, and it’s not getting any better. Our constitution states that we have a right to bear arms, responsibly, but how many folks do you know who actually use their weapon responsibly? From the toddler that finds his father’s gun and accidentally kills his neighbor, the youth running the streets that brandishes and uses their weapons, illegal guns, with no regard, the accident murderers as Nas so poignantly stated in his most recent record titled such, and let us not forget the tragedy’s that involve those similar to the George Zimmerman’s of the world, The incidents like Columbine, I could go on.

I’ve handled and shot many weapons over the years, I know many individuals who own guns, legally and illegally, but are they really for the benefit of protecting ourselves?  Currently, I don’t own a gun, and I probably never will, for reasons I will not disclose here.

As written by Jason Whitlock, “How many young people have to die senselessly? How many lives have to be ruined before we realize the right to bear arms doesn’t protect us from a government equipped with stealth bombers, predator drones, tanks and nuclear weapons?

Our current gun culture simply ensures that more and more domestic disputes will end in the ultimate tragedy, and that more convenience-store confrontations over loud music coming from a car will leave more teenage boys bloodied and dead.”

I am so tired of hearing about gun violence, so tired of losing loved ones to gun violence, or almost losing them. Our country needs to take a long hard look at this issue, it’s long overdue.

Peace and blessings good people,
Shamina

Bang! (Poem about gun violence)
Created by Artluva
This is about a child who died due to gun violence.

Bang!

I heard the shot ring

That sound changed my life

It changed everything

I heard the sound of a gun being fired

Today, about an hour ago

It wasn't my fault

Johnny brought a gun to school, I got hit, now I must go

God told me to say my goodbies and then leave

So here I am, and this is my last goodbye

Please, even though I won't be here anymore

Try not to miss me too much, try not to cry

Tell Daddy

I'm sorry I wasn't always the best

Tell him I love him

And in my eyes, he was better than all the rest

Tell my sister

We fought often but believe it or not, I loved her too

Tell her to live her life

And to follow her dreams and do whatever she wants to do

Don't worry about me, I'm not alone

Grandma is waiting for me

And I'll always watch over you

Even if you can't see

My last request

My dying wish

Is to warn others of weapons

And it's risk

Never bring weapons

Even if you'll never use them, ever

They are still horrible

Use them? Never

Artluva, http://quizilla.teennick.com/poems/8031524/noaction, Web. 03 Dec 2012