How Bad Do You Want It

Hello good people. I apologize for not writing last month, but there were so many thoughts running through my mind; I simply could not focus on a topic. Even still this month, there are some reoccurring thoughts lingering from last month, I’m not sure of a topic, but I am simply going to piece something together here. My spirit has been heavy with thoughts of obedience, discipline, finishing the things I start, simply being accountable and responsible for the things that occur in my life, even the lives of my children.

I realize now, more than ever, that I will never yield the results that I want if I can’t focus long enough to finish the things that I have started. I’ve shared this with my 13 year old as well, as she is struggling with maintaining good grades. I have found that the past few years I have become lazy, in every sense of the word. I don’t want to push myself; I simply expect things to happen for me magically. But I have been reminded all too well that faith without works is dead.

It’s been hard to admit that I have become lazy, that my desire to walk into my full potential does not match my will to do so. So I’ve been asking myself, “How bad do you want it”? I know that I have been given a voice and I finally recognize that I have a talent. These things I didn’t always know. I also recognize that my talents and the many things that I have endured and overcome are not simply for my benefit.

I’ve been wondering what happen to the girl inside of me that had all these dreams and would do anything to position herself for the best. I know she still resides in me, I know that I am that girl, that woman. So what am I going to do? A dear friend reminded me last year of the importance of writing a plan, doesn’t have to be five written pages or anything elaborate, but simply something you have written down and something to follow, to hold yourself accountable, and it works! The past few months I haven’t written anything down; I haven’t pushed myself to do some of the things that I wanted to have done by this month. Well, there is no more waiting, planning and writing is what I’m doing, writing the vision and making it plain.

Michael Jordon didn’t become Michael Jordan because he wished it to be, but he practiced, he WORKED and perfected his skill, and it didn’t happen for him overnight. Talk is cheap…and I ask, am I a doer, are you a doer? Do you want it? As Bill Cosby stated before “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it”. Great responsibility comes when you are walking, living, breathing, operating on and within PURPOSE. Maybe I have been afraid of what will occur in my life once I have my BA, then my MA, maybe I have been afraid of my book being published and becoming nationally recognized and subsequent books, especially children’s books, to follow. Maybe I am afraid of the opportunities that will arise out of my volunteer efforts with the women that are going through what I survived.

You know, most of us grew up in an era of, do as I say, not what I do, but we should actually be the examples to our children. I know I have not been the best example to my 13 year old. My work ethic has not been what it should be, and I have to show her that you can do and be anything you want. But I have to show her how this principle is manifesting in my own life.

So, my challenge is becoming disciplined enough and obedient enough to yield the results that I want, spiritually, financially, and educationally, showing my daughter’s a living example of this.

Peace, blessings, affectionately yours,

Shamina


He Walks With Me
I know He walks with me…has been with me since my conception...here for all eternityThe devil knows this, which is why he tries to trick me, get me to believe some of my insanity

I know he only comes to still, kill and destroy, but my Father has shown me what He has in store for me

My world has become the thoughts inside my head, which I have not fully protected and the devil has tried to come and infect it with lies and sins from my past

I know He walks with me, he’s grace and mercy evident with every picture I see, every moment that He has kept and saved me

There are times when my soul cries and He has been the only to console me

My days will be spent in prosperity and my years in pleasure, as long as I obey and serve Him

I know He walks with me, although there may be times I forget, I know He never has

The blessings on my life, so many I can’t count…I know I can be obedient to His word, and I know what my life is like when I doubt

He shows His face to me continuously, even during the times when I didn’t want to see

I know He walks with me and will continuously keep me, no matter the space I sometimes find me

He walks with me

Living Courageously

Recently, I have written about a few topics that have motivated me.  I am always positive and uplifting, but this month, I have been challenged to stay positive, I started to forget who keeps me.  This month it seemed that everything that could possibly come against me and attack me has, and within the past few days I have felt defeated.  But I know, the devil is a liar, and he is already defeated in my life.  I know first hand that God has kept me during all of my trials, even when it appeared I was faint at heart.  I know I am a strong woman, but greater is He that is in me, then he that is in this world.

So with all this being said, I have really had to seek God this month, for many things.  There have been quite a few days where I couldn't pray, didn't know where to begin to pray, nor did I know what to pray for.  What has been a constant in my mind the past few days is the question, "Where is your courage"?  Am I continuously focusing and looking down on the circumstances that are plaguing me, or I am rejoicing for where I am and what I have, looking up with expectation for the breakthrough that God is working on?

Faith is a tricky concept for a lot of us, especially those of us who claim to be sold out for Christ.  We forget His word and allow our thinking, and not the Holy Ghost to operate and work for us.  I forget I have that power sometimes, I forget how to walk by faith and not by sight.  I didn't want to get too spiritual this month, as all of my readers may not be saved, but I know that what I am dealing with is more spiritual and far from natural.  What I'm dealing with is testing my courage, my faith, my will, truly believing that when I can't, He will. Knowing that I have exhausted all possibilities, but His supplies and resources are unlimited.

Today, I am better, I know that I am a Kingdom Heir and that wealth and riches are in my house, I know that I lend and not borrow, I know if God is for me, who can be against me, I know that His word is life to those that find it and peace to all their flesh.  I am preaching to myself here, not anyone else.

I am courageous, I can face any obstacle and not be consumed by any circumstance.  So, I challenge you today to live boldly and courageously.  To continue to push, no matter what it looks like.  Don't allow your circumstance to dictate your expectancy, don't allow them to derail you any longer.

I know that I have not come this far to stop.  I know that God has planted many visions and dreams inside me, none of which had been a dream until He revealed them, so I know a greater power operates in me and that the best is yet to come. So today, I am courageous in Him and looking up at the heavens where blessings are continuously released.  Today, I give my angels charge over me and I will not punk out!!!

So, let's get it, no matter what it looks like, start living courageously.

Peace and blessings,
Shamina

Get On With It

It's amazing what can manifest when people are perfectly honest with themselves.  When one can truly and honestly face their hurts, failures, disappointments, fears and most of all, their anger.  We all get angry, have been unforgiving, and we have all held on to past hurts for far too long. It appears that after listening to many friends this past month, I hear and sense restoration in all of their voices and spirits.  I sense a feeling of acceptance with certain things that have plagued them, including myself.

Anger is very powerful and can be very destructive.  We all try to act as if we are cooler than a fan, nothing gets us angry, we don't hold grudges, etc., but I beg to differ. Here, I thought I was past my anger concerning a certain situation.  But I quickly realized, as I allowed acceptance to FINALLY take place and bitterness to be erased,...this is when I started to actually move past my anger, allowing things to unfold as they should have long ago.  Putting aside ego, pride and differences.

For me, I like to think, in every situation, that I always make the right decisions for me and my family, quality decisions.  I like to think that at every turn, my actions are warranted and justified.  Well, I also hate to admit when I am wrong or when I've made poor decisions. But, in doing so, I again, have learned so much more about me, and what it really means to forgive and let go, and be free.  So I found myself letting go of pride and sorrow and admitting that I was wrong for a thing or two, actually apologizing and saying that I was truly sorry for my actions.  Its definitely true, when you whole heartedly forgive and let go of whatever negative feelings you may be holding onto, you truly and honestly free yourself and open doors that you never imagined could be re-opened.

So, today, I beg you to  truly forgive someone who you haven't, let go and get on with it!!! Living that is (SMILE).

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

DEEP

Deep inside me there are many things I keep, many things that have seeped, like the disgusting juices piled up and compressed of the neighborhood trash, into loves of mine. Deep in the wholeness of my incompleteness, there resides an honesty that I’m afraid of, memories that terrify and lose me completely. Deep within is a love that springs forth with utterances of peace, serenity, confidence and joy…healing. Deep are the bruises, scars, soul ties that still leave scorn. Deep is my anger for those who lack patience and  understanding, searching for answers to that which may be unexplainable, memories that are not trusting, loving or with reason nor clarity. Deep is a pride, a mother, a third generation of strength, education and dreams on high. Deep is my passion to live out my full potential that is as wide as all of the world’s oceans and runs as long as the Nile. Deep is my love, my deepness I wanna share with you... in time, so hold on, move slow and we will stay afloat and not be lost or consumed by my deep…thoughts.