Hello good people. I apologize for not writing last month, but there were so many thoughts running through my mind; I simply could not focus on a topic. Even still this month, there are some reoccurring thoughts lingering from last month, I’m not sure of a topic, but I am simply going to piece something together here. My spirit has been heavy with thoughts of obedience, discipline, finishing the things I start, simply being accountable and responsible for the things that occur in my life, even the lives of my children.
I realize now, more than ever, that I will never yield the results that I want if I can’t focus long enough to finish the things that I have started. I’ve shared this with my 13 year old as well, as she is struggling with maintaining good grades. I have found that the past few years I have become lazy, in every sense of the word. I don’t want to push myself; I simply expect things to happen for me magically. But I have been reminded all too well that faith without works is dead.
It’s been hard to admit that I have become lazy, that my desire to walk into my full potential does not match my will to do so. So I’ve been asking myself, “How bad do you want it”? I know that I have been given a voice and I finally recognize that I have a talent. These things I didn’t always know. I also recognize that my talents and the many things that I have endured and overcome are not simply for my benefit.
I’ve been wondering what happen to the girl inside of me that had all these dreams and would do anything to position herself for the best. I know she still resides in me, I know that I am that girl, that woman. So what am I going to do? A dear friend reminded me last year of the importance of writing a plan, doesn’t have to be five written pages or anything elaborate, but simply something you have written down and something to follow, to hold yourself accountable, and it works! The past few months I haven’t written anything down; I haven’t pushed myself to do some of the things that I wanted to have done by this month. Well, there is no more waiting, planning and writing is what I’m doing, writing the vision and making it plain.
Michael Jordon didn’t become Michael Jordan because he wished it to be, but he practiced, he WORKED and perfected his skill, and it didn’t happen for him overnight. Talk is cheap…and I ask, am I a doer, are you a doer? Do you want it? As Bill Cosby stated before “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it”. Great responsibility comes when you are walking, living, breathing, operating on and within PURPOSE. Maybe I have been afraid of what will occur in my life once I have my BA, then my MA, maybe I have been afraid of my book being published and becoming nationally recognized and subsequent books, especially children’s books, to follow. Maybe I am afraid of the opportunities that will arise out of my volunteer efforts with the women that are going through what I survived.
You know, most of us grew up in an era of, do as I say, not what I do, but we should actually be the examples to our children. I know I have not been the best example to my 13 year old. My work ethic has not been what it should be, and I have to show her that you can do and be anything you want. But I have to show her how this principle is manifesting in my own life.
So, my challenge is becoming disciplined enough and obedient enough to yield the results that I want, spiritually, financially, and educationally, showing my daughter’s a living example of this.
Peace, blessings, affectionately yours,
Shamina
He Walks With Me
I know He walks with me…has been with me since my conception...here for all eternityThe devil knows this, which is why he tries to trick me, get me to believe some of my insanity
I know he only comes to still, kill and destroy, but my Father has shown me what He has in store for me
My world has become the thoughts inside my head, which I have not fully protected and the devil has tried to come and infect it with lies and sins from my past
I know He walks with me, he’s grace and mercy evident with every picture I see, every moment that He has kept and saved me
There are times when my soul cries and He has been the only to console me
My days will be spent in prosperity and my years in pleasure, as long as I obey and serve Him
I know He walks with me, although there may be times I forget, I know He never has
The blessings on my life, so many I can’t count…I know I can be obedient to His word, and I know what my life is like when I doubt
He shows His face to me continuously, even during the times when I didn’t want to see
I know He walks with me and will continuously keep me, no matter the space I sometimes find me
He walks with me
Showing posts with label #discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #discipline. Show all posts
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Matters of The Heart
I thought about writing last week, but didn't want to write about any "heart matters". For some reason, I thought there was not enough substance in heart matters and that maybe some individuals were sick of listening and pondering "heart matters". Well, guess what, matters of the heart is what makes this world go round! Out of heart matters arise growth, compassion, break through, and most importantly, acts of kindness and servitude.
This week there has been allegations bought against a few well known men, Bishop Eddie Long, and Jesse Jackson, Jr., allegations of secret lives and unfavorable behavior. The most disturbing story I heard this week was concerning a father who strangled his four year old son to death, hurt another one of his children and then attempted suicide, all while a grandparent was in the home. These story's troubled me for many reasons, first being, what are we teaching our children? Where are our standards, our morality, our compassion for others? "The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children", Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German Protestant theologian & anti-Nazi activist (1906 - 1945).
We must raise our children with certain standards, teaching them early about what is good touch and what is bad touch. Teaching them and being an example of what a good person is and how they should conduct themselves. It all starts with raising our children with great standards, values, morals and giving them the opportunity to share their feelings at all costs. Keeping in mind that we were all children once, and we didn't always do as we were told, still don't as grown adults, but making sure we protect and educate our kids as best we can as to the dangers of this word, letting them know that we are accountable for our actions, and all actions will produce an outcome, whether favorable or unfavorable.
There is so much on my mind, so much so, that I can't convey my thoughts in such away that will capture all that is on my mind today. I just know that I am in deep thought, asking God for His direction and clarity in raising my children and being the best Woman in His kingdom that I can be, showing Him gratitude for where I am today and for where He is taking me.
So, today, I leave you with this piece:
Shamina~
This week there has been allegations bought against a few well known men, Bishop Eddie Long, and Jesse Jackson, Jr., allegations of secret lives and unfavorable behavior. The most disturbing story I heard this week was concerning a father who strangled his four year old son to death, hurt another one of his children and then attempted suicide, all while a grandparent was in the home. These story's troubled me for many reasons, first being, what are we teaching our children? Where are our standards, our morality, our compassion for others? "The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children", Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German Protestant theologian & anti-Nazi activist (1906 - 1945).
We must raise our children with certain standards, teaching them early about what is good touch and what is bad touch. Teaching them and being an example of what a good person is and how they should conduct themselves. It all starts with raising our children with great standards, values, morals and giving them the opportunity to share their feelings at all costs. Keeping in mind that we were all children once, and we didn't always do as we were told, still don't as grown adults, but making sure we protect and educate our kids as best we can as to the dangers of this word, letting them know that we are accountable for our actions, and all actions will produce an outcome, whether favorable or unfavorable.
There is so much on my mind, so much so, that I can't convey my thoughts in such away that will capture all that is on my mind today. I just know that I am in deep thought, asking God for His direction and clarity in raising my children and being the best Woman in His kingdom that I can be, showing Him gratitude for where I am today and for where He is taking me.
So, today, I leave you with this piece:
Where Are My Words
Where are my words?
Are they lost in my soul or bound up in many different worlds
The worlds of my forefathers, my ancestors…Bound up in time that has past
My childhood, my youth…the pain of so many untold truths.
Where are my words?
Are they written on my heart, stuck and implanted in my unspoken thoughts
Lost in the treasures of my forgotten, tossed to the side unclaimed high school treasures, that no one cared to measure the importance of.
Where are my words?
Are they left behind with the anger of my unapologetic mother… my confused twisted older brother or with the sons of mothers who dehumanized a perfect little sister soldier
Where are my words?
Are they hiding in my pain, covering up what should have not been my shame, unexplained to those who inflicted the pain.
Where are my words?
Are they with my Heavenly Father during my prayers, during my conversations said boldly with confirmation, affirming that I am healed, bold, courageous, prosperous and worth more than 24 karat gold…more than all the rubies and unclaimed stones of this earth.
I ask, where are my words?
Are they with my new lover, my friendships of my true blue die hard sisters, my daughter who I try to keep in line and in order, or my father who has always been a father, but not always the best provider.
Where are my words?
Are they with the geese whom just took flight, the dogs who are strays, surviving with all their might, my people, places and things who are lost and without sight.
Where are my words…where are my words? I ask again, where are my words?
Are they out in the air on a cold brisk winters night, speaking to my homeless brothers and sisters of the night, the pimps, prostitutes, alcoholics, drug dealers and drug abusers, running from those elusive demons…
Are they with my single unwed mothers, my brothers locked up for one reason or another, my people who have lost their father’s and or mothers and other loved ones, my youth who have lost their direction and guidance, missing the opportunity to truly experience what it is like to be cool and not act like uneducated fools.
Are they wrapped up in wisdom waiting to spring forth and become a force, make a difference in this world…sitting with my grandmother and elders who helped build this nation.
Where are my words?
Where are my words?
Are they lost in my soul or bound up in many different worlds
The worlds of my forefathers, my ancestors…Bound up in time that has past
My childhood, my youth…the pain of so many untold truths.
Where are my words?
Are they written on my heart, stuck and implanted in my unspoken thoughts
Lost in the treasures of my forgotten, tossed to the side unclaimed high school treasures, that no one cared to measure the importance of.
Where are my words?
Are they left behind with the anger of my unapologetic mother… my confused twisted older brother or with the sons of mothers who dehumanized a perfect little sister soldier
Where are my words?
Are they hiding in my pain, covering up what should have not been my shame, unexplained to those who inflicted the pain.
Where are my words?
Are they with my Heavenly Father during my prayers, during my conversations said boldly with confirmation, affirming that I am healed, bold, courageous, prosperous and worth more than 24 karat gold…more than all the rubies and unclaimed stones of this earth.
I ask, where are my words?
Are they with my new lover, my friendships of my true blue die hard sisters, my daughter who I try to keep in line and in order, or my father who has always been a father, but not always the best provider.
Where are my words?
Are they with the geese whom just took flight, the dogs who are strays, surviving with all their might, my people, places and things who are lost and without sight.
Where are my words…where are my words? I ask again, where are my words?
Are they out in the air on a cold brisk winters night, speaking to my homeless brothers and sisters of the night, the pimps, prostitutes, alcoholics, drug dealers and drug abusers, running from those elusive demons…
Are they with my single unwed mothers, my brothers locked up for one reason or another, my people who have lost their father’s and or mothers and other loved ones, my youth who have lost their direction and guidance, missing the opportunity to truly experience what it is like to be cool and not act like uneducated fools.
Are they wrapped up in wisdom waiting to spring forth and become a force, make a difference in this world…sitting with my grandmother and elders who helped build this nation.
Where are my words?
Shamina~
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