Creating The New

Happy New Year All! This post is long overdue, so I apologize if you were expecting an entry in December as you should have been (smiles). The year 2010, for me, proved to be challenging in many areas, especially the area of faith. There were situations that almost shook me to my core, had me doubting myself, doubting the power of God inside me. With this being said, I started running out of fuel during the fall months, allowing many of the situations I faced to become a burden on my life, soul and spirit, physically and mentally.


During the holidays I was reminded that life is definitely short. We all use this phrase, but do we really understand the impact of this phrase? The year 2010 was the first year of my life without my grandmother, reminding me of what I have, breath and life, and no matter the situation, let nothing burden you when you know God has given you perfect peace.


I found myself asking God for clarity and direction often in 2010, more often than I have ever before. But I soon realized with the closing of the year that I was asking for guidance and direction, but I didn't have a clear, visible vision nor plan of what I needed guidance and direction for. I found myself aimlessly going through my days, always tired, no refreshment anywhere. However, before the close of 2010, I found it...in Him, a perfect peace and a new outlook, perspective if you will, one that included a plan for the year and small goals to achieve with each approaching month.


This month, in this New Year of 2011, I am embarking on many new experiences, one involving volunteering, a new position with my current employer and a new set of standards that include me writing down the things that I am GOING to do, not will do, must do or have to do, but going to do, with follow-up and follow through in this new year.


Often times, we are our biggest critics, and all too often we murmur and complain, even when we don't admit it, but we rarely create a plan to do things differently so that the outcome will quickly change and not remain the same. During the end of 2010, I was truly reminded of God's grace and mercy on my life, the lives of loved ones, especially my biological children who are both healthy, smart and beautiful. I had been all talk and no action during most of 2010, but that has changed. To see my vision plain as day, to see it when I rise and before I lay brings a newness, an expectancy into my dreams at night that allows me to start each day empowered, stronger, giving more, loving harder, not succumbing to my trials.


I challenge you in the new, to create a new thing within your world, your self, your mind and start to live out the unimaginable. I have said it before, and I will say it again and again, but now with more power and authority, THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!! Especially when you have a plan.


Peace and Blessings,
Shamina

The New

Well, here we are, a toast for creating new beginnings!

Like the kiss that new love has planted softly on your cheek after the first date.

The frost upon the grass when you awake, fresh linens on your bed.

The breath a newborn takes fresh out the womb, your child attempting to ride a bike for the first time, the first time they reach for you, their first utterance of your name.

The new pair of knee boots you rocked on New Year's Eve.

The new awaits you, me, it awaits us all, waiting for us to discover the very thing that makes us who we are.

For me, I am creating the new, the new pep in my step, the new pride in my stride, a new hello along with new goodbyes, a new frame of mind, new people to surprise and entertain, awaiting strangers that know my name, creating a new way to do some things.

The new I am doing this year Boo!!!

Growth

Well, it's me again! I know it has been awhile and I apologize for the delay. You know, I think I can safely say, we all wish we didn't encounter certain storms along our beautiful journey through this place called life. Life means living, which indicates growth. In order to grow, things must be planted, watered, often times rooted, re-potted, simply cared for and tended to. There are also times where some things simply die and pass away.

Last year I was given three plants, two of which were attached with notes, "If you kill this I can make you famous", and the other "You have just received God's gift". I must admit, I in no way have a green thumb, but all three plants are alive and doing pretty well. One, and African Begonia, I love it, I don't have to do much to it, simply water it every once in a while, turn the pot and make sure it sits in my dining room window where it is kissed by the sun daily. The other is a Peace Lilly, I had to add more soil to it and pay special attention to it this past weekend a sit was dying, and I saw that it was dying, but it is alive. I had seen that it was struggling the past few weeks, but I didn't feel like bothering with it, but on yesterday I did, and it made me feel good. I felt good because I made a conscious decision, putting forth energies that I didn't necessarily want to because I didn't feel like it, but at the same time I didn't want it to die. The third plant I don't know the name of, but I gave it some special attention also. I realized it needed water a a bit more soil to cover up some of the exposed root, so I cared for it. I took the time to care for these plants this past weekend in a way that I hadn't before, because I care.

We are note given a road map to this thing called life. We aren't given the secrets to the success of surviving it, living it to the fullest, but what we have been given are guides, mentors, many people who thrive producing self-help literature. We are given our minds, miraculous and beautiful, full of many thoughts. We must care for our minds, exercising it, controlling what we allow to enter it. We must pluck weeds from time to time, we must accept new information and let old information die at times, we must make room for it to grow and gain new knowledge and experiences. Especially when we think we don't care, especially when we want to be selfish and not regard anyone elses feelings before we speak or act.

As imperfect beings, we always want to think that our way is the right way, that our way of thinking is the best, but we are often proven wrong, because we are not perfect. We plan and set things in motion, just to be reminded that the course can change at any given time. I am learning that if there was one way to think, one way to act, one way to do, God would have given us all our own little state or continent and He would not have given us companionship and relationships. He would not have created the woman with a womb to create life.

We are all here to work together, to grow together, to nurture and help one another grow, love, laugh, cry, assist, co-exist. Why, because we can not do it alone, we can not grow without caring for another individual. We can not grow without accepting that there must be change in-order to do so. WE must continue to evolve and be involved positively with what's going on around us. We can not be afraid, ashamed of sharing our past experiences if we know it'll help another person.

Everyone has been given their share of storms, their share of demons to conquer and overcome, their share of horrible, "why the hell is this happening to me" experiences, their share of loss. Some of us are still dealing and battling with some of our demons. The good thing is, we have survived. But in surviving, I pray that we are learning, growing, listening and nurturing our spirits. Stop taking for granted common care and concern for others wants, needs and feelings. Start watering the seeds around you, watering the plants in front of you, adding fresh soil to some of the plants you have started taking for granted so that your garden can grow positively, reciprocating the same for you.

Peace and blessings,
Shamina

Thinking


I’m sitting, listening to the sounds around me
Sitting still and peaceful like an owl watching out for his night’s prey
Sitting still, thinking, of all my wants and wishes, some of which I thought I had let slip away

The quiet, the peace, its music to my ears…almost virgin as I use to fear the total peace and quite of my innermost thoughts
Connecting with my soul and binding up all negative thoughts
Some of which were hidden fears, silent cries and tears
Others of conquer, conquest and making a difference in another’s life
Closing my eyes, breathing deep, with every inhale speaking “Be still” and with every exhale “Know that I am God”

There are so many wonders, so many treasures hidden in a day, just take a moment to be still, listen, and enjoy the night turning into day

Read to an elder that has lost his sight, have a conversation with a mother whose 93 and gain some insight
Help a kid with homework whose parents are overworked and underpaid, whose not home in time to play mother/father and maid
Take clothes to the women’s shelter and share a word of conquering and overcoming a situation that has a young lady dismayed

Sit still, hear your thoughts and dreams and bring them into fruition with full pride and self-esteem

What’s most rewarding about sitting still is the fact that you have tomorrow to do it all again

Keeping It Real

The past few weeks I have had tons of thoughts running through my mind concerning relationships, my purpose, my career, my children and how to be the best possible parent that I can be. What has resonated in my mind is the discontent I feel when I am associated with individuals who are PHONY. Individuals who put on masks for the world, not truly knowing who they are, or simply haven't admitted to themselves who they are. Those that feel, for whatever reason, that I am not doing my best, who feel that they can do better.

My children are as real as it gets! There is nothing fake about them, unless my 12 year old complains her arm is about to fall off because of a mosquito bite that seems a little more larger than normal, and the 14 month old, well, she runs me, but she is learning now that there are boundaries and repercussions to some of her actions. But again, they are as real as it gets. They don't think that they are better than any one else, they aren't one way at home, and then another way at school, they are who they are.

I try my best to be as real as I can with God, myself, and others that I interact with, whether its personal, business or otherwise. The thing is, I confess my unadulterated self to God daily, something I don't do with all of whom I may interact with at a given time. But, my true friends, those I consider TRUE friends, know me, almost as well as I know myself. I keep it real, I'm pretty upfront and I wear my feelings on my sleeves, especially if I am hurt. I've been told by a few that I run my mouth too much, which is probably true. But not at the expense of the friendship. I would never intentionally betray my friends confidence, I would never share the secrets they entrust to me with another person, especially not doing so to defame their character nor to make myself appear to look like a better person than that individual and definitely not in judgement.

I am sure you can sense a tenseness or borderline anger in my words, or maybe you don't, but I have truly been irritated and aggravated by individuals the past few weeks who may have undermined my intelligence, who lacked the courage and the professionalism to keep it real with me. I consider myself a pretty open minded individual, one who can accept constructive criticisms, one who learns from my mistakes. What I am not, is a fake, especially not a phony!
I have not always been the best person or the best friend, I have been a person who lacked integrity, not realizing my worth as a woman and I can ADMIT it! But I thank God for what He is showing me now and I know the best is yet to come.

I have been through many ups and downs with friendships, jobs, and personal relationships that helped me realize the type of person that I was and who I am constantly working at becoming. KNOWING who I never want to be again and knowing what I never want to become. What is so real about discovering who you are is that you first have to admit who you are, and who you were, to God and yourself. Then once you feel comfortable enough with someone that you trust, you can then share with others. Be real with yourself, learn yourself, stop hiding from the world and putting on airs, wearing all these masks. Tap into yourself, loving yourself and discover your true talents, your wants your needs and stop trying to make yourself look good while bashing others. The more you keep trying to throw folks under a bus while not looking while you cross the street, the more your going to find that you are the one under the bus!

I am so happy to say I love my life!! I love where I am, who I am, where I am going and it feels great. I love my haters, my nay sayers, those that laugh with me then talk about me in a way that is not lifting of me and my family. I say to you, find yourself, confess who you are and who you were. None of us are perfect and we all have a past with many blemishes, so don't attempt to judge another unless you have taken a long look at yourself, past, present and future. My last advice is to be kind to your self and others, especially when you think no one is looking or listening. Remember, what's done in the dark always come to light!

Fully Aware

I am fully aware of the state I’m currently in
I am fully aware of the skin I’m in
I am fully aware of my financial status
I am fully aware that I am a mom and my name ain’t Gladys
I am fully aware of what it means to be desperate
I am fully aware that I’m not married
I am fully aware that loneliness is a state of mind
I am fully aware that I can do better
I am fully aware that I need some help
I am fully aware that I can not give up
I am fully aware that a day comes and goes
I am fully aware that you shouldn’t waste time on yesterday’s woes
I am fully aware that I can do anything
I am fully aware that I can create a plan and follow it
I am fully aware that my eyes and ears need to be open and my mouth needs to be shut
I am fully aware of all the feelings in my gut
I am fully aware that I will overcome, conquer and love will take over and run my mind

With love always,

Shamina