My children are as real as it gets! There is nothing fake about them, unless my 12 year old complains her arm is about to fall off because of a mosquito bite that seems a little more larger than normal, and the 14 month old, well, she runs me, but she is learning now that there are boundaries and repercussions to some of her actions. But again, they are as real as it gets. They don't think that they are better than any one else, they aren't one way at home, and then another way at school, they are who they are.
I try my best to be as real as I can with God, myself, and others that I interact with, whether its personal, business or otherwise. The thing is, I confess my unadulterated self to God daily, something I don't do with all of whom I may interact with at a given time. But, my true friends, those I consider TRUE friends, know me, almost as well as I know myself. I keep it real, I'm pretty upfront and I wear my feelings on my sleeves, especially if I am hurt. I've been told by a few that I run my mouth too much, which is probably true. But not at the expense of the friendship. I would never intentionally betray my friends confidence, I would never share the secrets they entrust to me with another person, especially not doing so to defame their character nor to make myself appear to look like a better person than that individual and definitely not in judgement.
I am sure you can sense a tenseness or borderline anger in my words, or maybe you don't, but I have truly been irritated and aggravated by individuals the past few weeks who may have undermined my intelligence, who lacked the courage and the professionalism to keep it real with me. I consider myself a pretty open minded individual, one who can accept constructive criticisms, one who learns from my mistakes. What I am not, is a fake, especially not a phony!
I have not always been the best person or the best friend, I have been a person who lacked integrity, not realizing my worth as a woman and I can ADMIT it! But I thank God for what He is showing me now and I know the best is yet to come.
I have been through many ups and downs with friendships, jobs, and personal relationships that helped me realize the type of person that I was and who I am constantly working at becoming. KNOWING who I never want to be again and knowing what I never want to become. What is so real about discovering who you are is that you first have to admit who you are, and who you were, to God and yourself. Then once you feel comfortable enough with someone that you trust, you can then share with others. Be real with yourself, learn yourself, stop hiding from the world and putting on airs, wearing all these masks. Tap into yourself, loving yourself and discover your true talents, your wants your needs and stop trying to make yourself look good while bashing others. The more you keep trying to throw folks under a bus while not looking while you cross the street, the more your going to find that you are the one under the bus!
I am so happy to say I love my life!! I love where I am, who I am, where I am going and it feels great. I love my haters, my nay sayers, those that laugh with me then talk about me in a way that is not lifting of me and my family. I say to you, find yourself, confess who you are and who you were. None of us are perfect and we all have a past with many blemishes, so don't attempt to judge another unless you have taken a long look at yourself, past, present and future. My last advice is to be kind to your self and others, especially when you think no one is looking or listening. Remember, what's done in the dark always come to light!
Fully Aware
I am fully aware of the state I’m currently in
I am fully aware of the skin I’m in
I am fully aware of my financial status
I am fully aware that I am a mom and my name ain’t Gladys
I am fully aware of what it means to be desperate
I am fully aware that I’m not married
I am fully aware that loneliness is a state of mind
I am fully aware that I can do better
I am fully aware that I need some help
I am fully aware that I can not give up
I am fully aware that a day comes and goes
I am fully aware that you shouldn’t waste time on yesterday’s woes
I am fully aware that I can do anything
I am fully aware that I can create a plan and follow it
I am fully aware that my eyes and ears need to be open and my mouth needs to be shut
I am fully aware of all the feelings in my gut
I am fully aware that I will overcome, conquer and love will take over and run my mind
I am fully aware of the state I’m currently in
I am fully aware of the skin I’m in
I am fully aware of my financial status
I am fully aware that I am a mom and my name ain’t Gladys
I am fully aware of what it means to be desperate
I am fully aware that I’m not married
I am fully aware that loneliness is a state of mind
I am fully aware that I can do better
I am fully aware that I need some help
I am fully aware that I can not give up
I am fully aware that a day comes and goes
I am fully aware that you shouldn’t waste time on yesterday’s woes
I am fully aware that I can do anything
I am fully aware that I can create a plan and follow it
I am fully aware that my eyes and ears need to be open and my mouth needs to be shut
I am fully aware of all the feelings in my gut
I am fully aware that I will overcome, conquer and love will take over and run my mind
With love always,
Shamina
Genesis 5:24 "Enoch walked with God!"
ReplyDeleteThe test of a human's religious life and character is not what he does in the exceptional moments of life, but what She does in the ordinary times, when there is nothing tremendous or exciting on. The worth of a woman is revealed in her attitude to ordinary things when she is not before the footlights. It is a painful business to get through into the stride of God, it means getting your second wind spiritually. In learning to walk with God there is always the difficulty of getting into His stride; but when we have got into it, the only characteristic that manifests itself is the Life of God. The individual human is lost sight of in her personal union with God, and the stride and the power of God alone are manifested.
It is difficult to get into stride with God, because when we start walking with Him we find He has outstripped us before we have taken three steps. He has different ways of doing things, and we have to be trained and disciplined into His ways. It was said of Jesus-- "He shall not fail nor be discouraged," because He never worked from His own individual standpoint but always from the standpoint of His Father, and we have to learn to do the same. Spiritual truth is learned by atmosphere, not by intellectual reasoning. God's Spirit alters the atmosphere of our way of looking at things, and things begin to be possible which never were possible before. Getting into the stride of God means nothing less than union with Himself. It takes a long time to get there, but KEEP at it. Don't give in because the pain is Bad just now, get on with it and before long you will find you have a new vision and a new purpose!
Pat Rogers wrote - Love it - keep it real, your spiritual growth is so refreshing and inspiring to me.
ReplyDeleteWow. Always knew their was something about you that attracted me to your frienship. Something that made me think about how much we had in common and how much we could learn from each other. Your inner strength, your "realness", your drive in life,whether that was to be a better parent or to find a partner that was worthy of you, were all qualities that a friend should have. And while I must admit, I was not expecting to form any new friendships because like many of us, I've had my share of PHONY friends and honestly have no place in my life for them. But I immediatly knew you were different, it was almost a blessing we met later in life because I'm sure we would have been a "Partners in Crime" in adolescence ;) But you continue to stay strong,positive and motivated and you will continue to be blessed. God has some plans for you girl~Jennie
ReplyDeleteBean, you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! I LOVE IT! PROVE THEM NAY SAYERS, SEEKERS TO DESTROY, AND NEGATIVE PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE STILL STANDING AND YOU ARE A STRONG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, WOMAN OF GOD! LOVE YOU ALWAYS, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND CONTINUE TO BE THE STRONG WOMAN YOU ARE! MUCH LOVE AND RESPECT, ALWAYS, BEAN aka Janika Reid.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog entry. I think that being honest with ourselves and GOD is key to true change. I believe that they way I grew up made me a very hidden person. I only wanted people to see what I was comfortable with. When God began to expose the things inside of me, i was so out of my element. But I realize now that I need that to grow.
ReplyDeleteI also think that we often judge people too quickly because they dont fit into the standards of what we think they should. When I read in the scripture that the standard of which we jugde people, we will be judged, I had to relax on my pre-conceived notions because I need a lot of grace for my junk!
Finally, i love the boldness in your words in this entry. Also, the poem was awesome. I was just listening to a woman speak about christian women and how if we were fully awake or aware we could truly step into God's call on our lives.
I enjoyed!!
Self reflection is vital to true freedom. Often people want followers while the are growing but its important to be alone self reflection can't happen when their is too much noise. True friends will tell you what you need to know but you have to be listening to hear. Everyday is not the same and each day is a learning opportunity. Be true to yourself and don't worry about the rest.
ReplyDeleteAnother GREAT poem! Full awareness is important..without it one is lost.
ReplyDelete(southernbellesista.blogspot.com)
Thanks so much for your comment!!!
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