The Quiet Place

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday fellow-shipping with family and friends. I thought I would be traveling but ended up staying local, which was a blessing in disguise. I was able to get so much accomplished at home, in addition to some much needed rest. Often times we find ourselves dealing with some sort of test or trial in our lives and most are unwelcome. We then find ourselves complaining or venting about “it”. I thought what I needed was a getaway, time with my family, but it didn’t happen, and I now know why.

I am learning to embrace my tests and trials, because I am beginning to understand that something will always come, so it’s best to simply prepare for these moments as best you can. It’s not always easy, and coping becomes tiresome, which is to be expected. We are a people whom want everything to be perfect and smooth sailing all the time, but life doesn’t work that way. So I ask myself, “Why get upset?” I can’t get all bent out of shape nor frazzled. I know there is a lesson and often times a revelation in that which I am going through and I know I am not going through it alone. During my time off from work, I became liberated, liberated from hosting and entertaining, liberated from sending mass texts and calls wishing everyone in my Rolodex a happy holiday, I became centered and grounded.

There are times where we need to be still and quiet, I have said this often, and we must take heed to the warning signs of when this needs to occur. There are times where you don’t want advice, listen to anyone’s rhetoric, there are times when you need to listen and commune with the inside and not the outside. During my time off, I did this and it felt great. Today, I am still in this place. I am beginning to embrace this season that I am in, the purpose becoming clearer each day. Today, I ask you to get still and quiet, commune with yourself, not murmuring or complaining about where you are and what you don’t have, but admiring all that you do.

Galatians 6:9 states: And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.  I know that giving up is not an option and the desires of my heart will be manifested in due time.

Have a wonderful week good people,
Shamina

LOVING

As I lay, he strokes my pain

My back has become relaxed, the tension has eased from my shoulders, my temples have stopped thumping
I smell the dew from the mountains as the wind sweeps pass the curtains
He kisses the back of my neck, inhaling a deep breath that makes my body smile, the hairs across my body stand
As I lay on my stomach, head laid on the pillow turned opposite of him, his hand caressing me, his other propped up under his face
he doesn't talk, he's simply gently touching me. He kisses my shoulders, soft butterfly kisses as I inhale
I don't say a word and my body relaxes
He cuddles my fears, my nerve endings on pins, he sits up, begins to massage my lower back and then my buttocks
As I lay, he turns me over, I hear the birds chirping
He kisses my forehead, the side of my cheek, the top of my ear and he tells me, he's not going anywhere, he doesn't want my body, just my mind, my heart, he wants it to open up...
I close my eyes, he places one hand against my belly, the other is propping his head...
I inhale
As I lay he massages my feet and I exhale, feeling defeated, my wall he is beginning to break
he says “its ok, I don't have to have it all now, I can wait...allow me to make love to your mind, put a ring around your heart and if you give me that, the loving will be a work of art, so just lay, I'll do my part.”

 

Thanksgiving

There are times when we have so much going on that we lose focus on what’s most important. I look at my children and think to myself often that we are not too far removed in our habits. There are times that my teenager appears to “not get it.” I have been on her a lot lately concerning her grades and stressing to her the importance of being able to balance all that is on her plate. Offering my help and assistance when it comes to studying or special projects, and often times she has turned me down and it has hurt her in more ways than one. But I have forgotten to praise her more often than not because I’ve been so focused on the, well, not so good habits and mediocre grades.

We adults often times spread ourselves way to then and we don’t know when to quite ask for help. There are times when we need to learn how to balance our workload and pay attention to all that’s around us, not simply focusing on some things and neglecting others, whether it be the laundry, quality time with our children; especially one on one time if you have more than one, or maybe its sticking to a budget and creating financial security. We all have areas of improvement and there are moments we must chastise ourselves, but also pat ourselves on the back for a job well done when needed.

I am thankful for this special time in my life, I am actually focused and pursuing, not only my dreams, but pursuing the gift that God has given me with my ability to put my thoughts on paper which translates into poetry. I am thankful that He is showing me how to love myself more and more daily, like never before, showing me that He is keeping me and my dependency is on Him. As people, we are funny, we allow our feelings to dictate our mood, our happiness and reactions to situations a lot of the time, and when our children exhibit the same behavior, we hold them to a higher standard, so unfair, especially when we find ourselves acting more like a child than not.

As we approach Thanksgiving Day this week, be mindful of all that’s been given to you and your family, praying for those who are still suffering from the effects of Sandy, for those dealing with any new and sudden change in certain areas of their lives and lay aside pettiness, backbiting, judgment of others for things that they’ve said that may have hurt your feelings, for actions that weren’t loving, etc., lay it all aside and give thanks for all that you are, all that you are becoming and all that has been given to you.

With this being said, I implore you to ask for what you need, lay aside childish behavior and act is if you are exactly where you wish to be I life at this point in time. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving all!

Peace and blessings,

Shamina

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

http://www.cptryon.org/prayer/special/serenity.html 

Derailed

Hi all, I know it’s been far too long, so please forgive me. You know, there are times when we find ourselves off track, off balance, derailed, in a manner of speaking. There are times when we focus on our issues and circumstances instead of our many blessings and the fact that we have life. This is where I found myself the past few months, derailed. When we look down on where we are instead of looking up toward where we wish to be, it opens the door for negative thinking and a defeatist attitude.

I found myself derailed and side tracked once again because of poor planning and bad decisions. I had a plan, prayed upon it, sought direction, but in the end I made choices that didn't support the plan. You see, since having my second child, I've been in financial straits, especially since I have received little to no support from the biological father. In addition, my quality of life changed BIG time. My income had been significantly different, expenses much higher and I haven't been able to take my children on vacations, yet alone to enjoy my own little vacations without the kids, it just didn't exist. So, I started getting the itch.

I started making plans that didn’t support my financial plan; I just couldn’t wait any longer. In return, I suffered and I wanted to blame everyone but myself. There were so many changes occurring in my life at the time and I didn’t want to accept blame for any of it, which in turn resulted in unhappiness and a lack of drive and ambition. Well, I had had enough of me. Sometimes we get so stuck inside our own heads, creating this silo where only we and our problems exist. There is a world of hurt that exist, tons of folks who have made poor decisions, unemployment at an all-time high, but guess what, we are responsible for us. We are responsible for our happiness, fulfillment and for doing what we can to get back on track, and help another person in the process.

I have been reminded time and time again, that we are not in this alone; we are helpers of one another. Prayer is powerful, accompanied with unwavering faith, determination and hard work; there is nothing we can’t achieve. More than half of the time, the battle to be fought and won is the battle of the mind. It is so easy to focus on the negative, but you have to make a conscious effort to combat negative thoughts, behaviors and actions with positive ones. Just because you are going through, doesn’t mean your family member, friend, neighbor has it any easier than you.

So, when your plan fails, when misfortune befalls you; mourn, cope as positively as you can, accept help, and constructive criticism. Dare to do something different, especially when you realize what you’ve been doing isn’t working. Network with others who are doing what you wish to do; be open and receptive to advice. Pick up the pieces and get back on track, you’ve been derailed, but not for long.

I was derailed, but I am now back on track, learning every day that I have to win the battle of the mind and work hard for all that I want and wish to be, and I most certainly have to be open to trying things differently, and when one plan fails, I have to re-vamp and re-create a new. I’m learning, per Iyanla Vanzant, to turn my broken pieces into peace.

Peace and blessings,
Shamina

LEVANTER

I've done enough looking back

Allowing the past to ride my back

Looking up is my hope

My willpower and determination is starting to surface

The endless possibilities that accompany confidence is exhilarating

I've done enough comparisons

Wishing hoping daydreaming that my past experiences didn't shape me

The struggle I've had with my inner self 

The years where unworthiness plagued the little girl ashamed and confused I've been trying to escape her instead of embracing her

The revelations are breathtaking

Intrigue builds eager to live the life that's always been in front of me 

The longing never died 

My emotions are non existent 

The torn dark part of me has been accepted and embraced

I've caressed my own face dried my tears hugged my disgrace 

I'm one with the wind its carrying me to know end 

I'm in awe of its freedom I almost envy it even and my desires are bubbling to the surface I can do this

I've decided to take a step forward

Derailed unveiled disorganized but yet propelled into something new incomparable to any of you 

Its my time and now I believe it like never before 

I've become invincible confident nerves no more head strong 

Everyday one step closer and its getting closer and closer 

Doubt leaves me now and the winds direction force is unknown

Levanter